Here it is NUMBER 3!!! Chilham Castle.
So this mornings 6.30am alarm wasn’t even needed, I was already on poo 2 by 6am. The balls I grew yesterday and all week in fact, had shrivelled to an unrecognisable size and I was SHITTING MYSELF!!!! We loaded and left by 7.15 and arrived at Chilham at 9.30.
The coursewalk was so bastarding hilly… Christ I need to give up smoking! I didn’t hate anything in particular, wasn’t keen on the barrels at 2 nor the jump that was far too close to the water 
?!! But I was hyperventilating by then so I was just glad to have made it around the course without pooing myself or fainting!
Tacked up and walked to the dressage. Pat was testing my patience this morning, I was so scared. I had ran through my dressage on the back of a receipt in the pub last night and felt terribly unprepared, who doesn’t ride the bloody test through at home?! Me apparently!! I was scared, nervous, trying to hold my poo in and the twat tries to bronch me off 
??? I wanted to go home there and then.
Now BE97 test is a bugger, it goes down the centre line and where usually you go all the way to C in front of the judge and turn, this turn was at X!! I forgot and made it to G before I remembered 
?? FFS!!!! Piss poor planning! I was so cross with myself and came out thinking it deserved a 36%ish. I came back to the box unhappy with how scared I was of riding again. I could have cried.
Onto the jumping, we didn’t have long, I watched a few go and decided I wanted to buy a shovel from the tack stand and dig myself a hole to hide in. The arena was surrounded by banners advertising certain fatality, flapping flags of death and there were far too many fillers to get over. I swallowed the bile down and got on!! Warmed up and went in!!!!! 2 lessons with the godlike creature that is Russell Cooper in the last few weeks meant we used new skills we were taught and we were sailing over the last fence CLEAR!!!! Bloody clear!!! I sobbed into his mane wailing with joy!! Fucking clear!!!!!!!!!! Get in my boy!!!!!
The death phase…. no pressure, running on my dressage score. I couldn’t remember the course, right as I got counted down, I got my act together. 5,4,3,2,1….. bloody go go go!!! 1 and two jumped lovely, he was flying… 3 on an angle that I totally screwed up Pat chipped in, wrapped the fence hard and twisted in midair. I so very nearly fell off, skin of my bastard teeth again!!! 5,6 jumped lovely, almost approached 7 from the wrong direction but we made it, legged it down the row 8,9, 10 was a house and step down which he boldly took me into. (Now I will add that Pat isn’t a brave XC horse and I sobbed all the way down the hill to the water because for the first time HE took ME to a fence!!!!!!) waters x2 rode lovely, another steep gallop up hill to the home straight where some lovely Wimpy supporters were cheering us on 
?? ping ping over the the double of houses and down to the train to finish. We sailed home 13 secs inside the time!!!!!!!
A double clear, finishing on my poorly prepared dressage score of 32 meant we placed third!!!!! Bloody 3rd AND picked up our Badminton Regional Final ticket!!!!!!
I cannot tell you what this means to us, to everyone involved. I am so bloody ordinary, so is Pat, I just wanted to do my best and do it well today. I wish I had practiced my test because only one point separated us from the top spot but who gives a shit!! We are doing it, me and my beautiful boy. He truly scared me today but what a feeling on the XC, it made up for all of the fear.
Daddy Carrot 
learnt to do studs today too… result!!! He’s so bloody supportive, not sure what our outings would look like without him by our sides.
Thank you so so much to everyone supporting us in every context, you make this worth it, this rosette belongs to you. I love you all.
Goodnight and God bless
Love, as always
Vic and Pat
Xxxxxx
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