Not all that long ago I was in possession of a large pair of hypothetical male reproductive parts, I was irritatingly confident and loved a challenge, it appears that one day I woke up and someone (someone lucky) stole them from my person. It felt like overnight, I had a lovely thoroughbred, aiming for the grand illusion of Badminton, to coming out in a cold sweat at the thought of doing up the girth!

Who knows what it was, but I just couldn’t seem to find my seemingly stolen balls. Some days, even now, I wake up full of enthusiasm, sit at my desk registering my over horsed self for a BE membership and then clicking the ‘close window’ button at the very last minute.

I have, in fact, got a very nice horse now, one that on paper, is highly equipped for the job that lays before us. 5 years ago I royally over horsed myself with a ‘notoriously tricky’ Master Imp 5 year old who proved them all wrong and soon took on the role of ‘granny carrying’ pottering about a local combined training or fun show, getting nice and fat and consequently – nice and slow!

In a previous life (only 10 years ago) I had evented to Novice, hunted 19 seasons and jumped banks and ditches that put the Grand Canyon to shame, I hope you enjoy following my woes of trying to claw back a single shred of dignity and self-confidence whilst I try my hardest to prepare for my first BE season in 10 years!!!

Please feel free to provide tips of how to achieve this or better still a design for a ‘Please return my balls’ poster.