Gin and Tramadol…. A cocktail of success!!!

What a weekend!! Let’s start from Wednesday night where the plans to run through my Novice and Elementary tests for Sunday were planned.  I left the office, grabbed my breeches from the car and strolled over to get changed.  One leg in, two legs in, yank on the too tight breeches… TWANG!!!! My lower back left me in a crumpled screaming heap on the toilet floor.  An hour on the tens machine and a glass of wine from super nice yard owners and I was on the horse – only able to walk.

Drat and blast… I had entered 2 bloody shows and paid upfront for them for this weekend!! I wasn’t even the slightest bit relieved that I might have a ‘get out of jail free card’. I rested, tens machined and iced it for 2 days, the more I moved about, the better it got – enough to run through the tests on Friday night but sadly, no jump practice ready for Saturday!

The day dawned, I had my times for the 80 and 90 cm classes and I wasn’t set to face my doom until 3.30… *all day to worry about it… Bloody Marvellous* I was SICK to my stomach with nerves, literally – I took 2 Imodium caplets, a tramadol and bought 2 Gin and Tonic ready mixed cans from the garage which I downed on the way to the yard and smoked half a pack of cigarettes!!

I arrived and the nerves were still leaving me utterly hopeless. I couldn’t remember the course at all, I watched about 20 other horses go and it WAS NOT HELPING! I heard the gate lady shouting my number, ARSE BAGS…. Kick kick off we go… as if by some wondrous miracle, I made it over the first 6 fences clear and into the timed area which I went no quicker for!!  I just went for the steady clear, mainly based on the fact that, any quicker and I would have been sick!  I had an unfortunate pole and a very steady time but I DID IT!!!!! Totally elated I very nearly quit whilst I was ahead and cancelled the 90cm entry but it started quick smart and I felt pressured into ‘manning up’.

Well, would you believe it … I only bloody did that one as well!!! Another silly pole down where I got in a bit close but we bloody did it, we jumped the biggest course we had done in 10 years, with a dodgy back and blurred gin goggles on!!! WOOOHOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! I hacked home with the biggest grin and the biggest hangover forming!!


SUNDAY FUNDAY… I was MUCH less worried about the dressage on Sunday.  Way more in our comfort zone so I will keep it brief… I went in winging it slightly after a short warm up and not really knowing the tests but he was soft, rideable and fitting an elementary into a 20×40 wasn’t nearly as bum squeezy as I thought-  so here goes nothing –  I ONLY BLOODY WON BOTH CLASSES! I hit a 72 in the novice with 9s for the FWLR and 67% in the Elementary even with a 4.5 for an egg shaped circle and an error of course 😉   I literally couldn’t be happier – The best weekend in a very long time!!! The end!!!


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Vic Brant

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