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TBH Vic I’m more proud of you for what you’re doing now than for all the competing you have done. I personally think you’re very brave to do what you’ve been doing for the rest of us. It takes as much courage to admit to yourself (and others) that you can’t do it any more. Have a fantastic break. Love your ponies and do what YOU want to do with them. When you feel ready you can start again. If you never feel ready then that’s just fine. As you say in your post, do what makes you happy ? Big hugs xx
What a kind thing to say, thank you so much for your support xx
Don’t be silly I never always got 1st be proud of how far you’ve come and achieved yes it’s not a red ribbon but it’s still a ribbon that you will always keep for life and a memory to look back on ?
I love this, and this is what I’ll keep coming back for. As a real person myself, I like to see what other real people are doing and feeling. The glossy IG pics are nice for when you’re on the toilet and need some pretty things to look at, but really they just make me think “why don’t I look/ride like that?”. Well it’s for loads of reasons but not because I’m not good enough. Keep doing you!
I am so happy for you that is awesome. Today Dec 4th is my baby boys 1st birthday. One year ago at 8:30pm he was born. It is not easy being a mom but it is so worth it! Congratulations!
My absolute favourite books, read all 3 in a row and every time you picked up a book and read a bit of it, it felt like they had seen your day and knew why you were reading, everytime they were so relatable. They picked me up when I felt completely deflated and now they keep me on top, motivated and reminded me I can achieve what I set out to.
I’m so happy you enjoyed them, thank you so much xxx
Wow where do I even start, these books are AMAZING!!!!
These books are so heart felt and so relatable, I’ve never knew a book could give you so much confidence. I could honestly write a book on how brilliant these books are xx
Thank you so much, you’ve made my day xx
Fab birth story!! It’s spookily similar to my birth (except my waters didn’t break early) I was induced due to preaclampsia on my due date following 3 nights in hospital for observation. I was given the gel to induce me which bought on ‘tightenings’ for 24 hrs but nothing to write home about, I then had my waters broken at 9pm. My tightening a increased quickly in regularity and strength and I went from 1cm to 10cm dilated withing half an hour. My official labour was 2hrs 13mins. With about 10 pushes she was out!!! It must be our rediculously strong pelvic floor muscles able to push the buggers out!! Due to the speed of the birth I did haemorrhage and lost nearly 3 pints of blood so I did not look as good as you in my post birth pics (more like a ghost) but I would do the whole thing again in a heartbeat!! George is such a cutie a belated congrats to you and daddy carrot xx
Thank you for sharing this post. I really do hope you realise how much you help others with these. You make people feel like they are not the only ones that go through something and how they feel is normal. Thank you for all your help.
I am not surprised our brain plays mad tricks on us and when you start thinking back to coming off whilst pregnant you subconsciously realise that you are now a mum and that little boy depends on you for everything, don’t eat yourself up ! You will get back on pat but don’t push too hard ! Put your air jacket on it will give you a safety blanket x
Vic, you’ve got this mate. Trust yourself, stick with your plan and know that this too will pass!
Hang on in there gal x
This is EXACTLY what I needed to hear today! Thank you so much for sharing ?
Thank you for sharing this, confidence is a funny old thing! One minute you can feel invincible and like Mary King, and the next, the mere thought of putting a foot in the stirrup has you heading for the hills. Small steps in your own time, and I’m sure you’ll be right back up there! X
Thank you 🙂 I hope so too xxxx
Hi. Sorry to hear your struggling. Your horses were your babies before your son and it’s to be expected you wanna start bk where you left off. I too had and still have this inner dialogue and drive myself mad, my daughter’s 4.5yrs now and it’s only as time has gone on, things have happened that I’m more accepting of my ‘new’ mother role, and it’s priority to my solo life with horsey hobbies. It did really got me down at times. I’d morn my previous life, jokingly buy deep down part of me was talking out my feelings.
I have followed you since your wimpy eventer early days and enjoyed your books. Your a very astute, clever and I’d imagine, your sharp analytical brain is maybe overthinking. I’m terrible for it and for generating feelings of worthlessness and sabotaging my self worth and confidence. There’s nothing wrong with reassessing what’s do-able with your changing home life now and you should not feel guilty for changes you need to make for you & your lovely now. It is a Balancing act juggling kids n horses and your blessed to have such a supportive hubby too.
I had a couple of mc’s b4 my daughter so she’s a miracle. I was an older mother too, as enjoyed my social life.
I had a poxy pregnancy but all’s well that ends well and baby arrives by C-section.
I had my exracer 9 years when I got pregnant with my daughter, high risk pregnancy so he was was turned out on my folks farm. He was a hot sharp nappy exracer. I still have him, he doesn’t do as much work as he did before I became a mum and I get to him when I can. Last year I even took on a second TB filly. Don’t get me wrong my priority is my daughter and hubby. I have to tell myself at times, that this is the pecking order but horses make my soul happy, my horse has been my therapy in times of depression when I physically couldn’t speak to a person I’d hug him & cry (Few bad bouts depression esp after mc’s). I had post natal depression then and my hubby went thru bad health scare after my daughter was born but we got thru it. Horse had to just be a horse then, graze and chill. My feelings of family (human and equine) are always on my mind, there’s a strong sense of duty all round and my thoughts are all in competition with each other and it can be mentally exhausting thinking when to fit riding in when child asleep. I feel I have some experience of what your going through, trying to be all things to all people (and animals) & what we feel we need to be doing for us as women, new mothers etc. All I ca say is don’t commit to anything for the moment, covid has the world slowed down and so much is cancelled, though we do need to focus on our families including animals. I have lost count of the amount of events I’ve paid for then, on the morning of or the day before pull out. I’d have myself in knots. It doesn’t mean I wouldn’t have done well, I’m not sure if not going to these things, my self sabotaging is my self conscious stopping me in my gallop and saying cop on. When I do e.g. the odd riding club lesson afterwards I luv it but prior to it I’m apprehensive & socially I am more awkward, prob cos my life’s at s different stage to the others. Im a devil for comparing myself to others, it was getting me down so I culled a lot of FB riding club contacts. The FOMO was getting me down.
I know I’m probably waffling but essentially, I have never met you but you seem like a good person, a lovely energy. Be careful of putting too much added pressure on yourself, maybe watch that, hold back a little on competition pressure and enjoy the little things like focusing on positives, what good things you get done with your lovely horses and your beautiful boy growing. Babies change rapidly, blink and you miss it but horsey mums needs time alone with their horses to recalibrate to be better in their home lives & other roles.
Take care, hugs Johanna (Ireland).
Thank you so much, what would I do without people like you around. <3 xxxx
Thank you for sharing, it’s really difficult times at the moment. You’re not alone, everyone has times when they lose confidence, and then at other times we feel we can do anything. I like you had a season planned, and am so gutted not to be out doing it, but I’m focusing on the things I can control until things change. I have to have a plan and goal every time I ride otherwise I probably wouldn’t, I watch videos and read social media of others to see what they’re working on and then try to copy it – including yours sometimes! I know how to do the stuff, but it keeps my mind on the job and not on any fearful thoughts that could creep in. My horse is a hot, sharp, spooky TB, especially on spring grass (!) but I try not to think about that! My advice would be to just try and think of all the times you’ve ridden Pat and he’s been amazing, rather than the few times it’s not gone to plan. Take your time and keep smiling, you do really well and are an inspiration to so many people! ??
Thank you SO much, you don’t know what it means to hear those things. Thank you xxx
Thanks for sharing and inspiring! I always love your stuff .
Thank you 🙂 xx
Hi
Love reading your books
I’ve just finished How to Stay On Top which was great
Not read your first book yet as it’s out of print
I ride and compete for my local riding club nothing exceptional but I do love it and get so nervous as well
Most of your readers are women but I can certainly understand where your coming from in your books and it helps me
Thanks again for writing them
Paul
A totally inspiring read. Well done. You are a girl after my own heart – you are helping so many people and their horses. It is great to hear about your publishing story – thanks for sharing.
Hi Vic, I have found your blog very inspiring and positive ?? thank you so much for tips ideas and advice! I’d like to ask you, I have a TB mare 12 years old, I have had her 4 years, she is very quirky! She has separation anxiety! Hacks out away from home fine but it’s loading on to trailer that is the problem! It’s leaving the others, once she is on (after a hour trying to load) travels and stands on trailer beautifully! I’m wondering how you helped Bender to overcome his separation anxiety, any tips please? Thank you so much
Ginny
Hey Ginny, thanks so much!
Bender actually coped SO much better on a big busy yard and so whilst he was a ‘normal’ horse in the hustle and bustle, it was just not something I could afford. We only have a field at home and so we had to very sadly find him a new home 🙁 I have Pea now, who also struggles when Pat leaves her! (maybe it’s the Pat effect!!) but I manage that with food and calming cookies xx
All these things make us the people we are I too lost my second baby at 14 weeks I had the same thing no heart beat had to go through an operation though my third pregnancy ended with me losing twin girls at 24 weeks my beautiful Laura and Louise they would of been 29 this year but I then had my gorgeous second daughter Lisa who life without wouldn’t be any point !!! Not sure why we have these experiences but they are there for a reason and I’m sure you’ve been chosen as your a very special lady xxx
Hi Vic I’m so sorry to hear this I went throw this with my first pregnancy we had a scan at 22 weeks and found we had lost the baby around 17 weeks it was awful all I’d wanted was a baby and I’d lost her before I even really had her. There is a lovely charity called sands that helps and supports family’s after I’m not sure if this is something your hospital told you about x xx lots of love if u ever want to talk just message x
Sorry to hear about this, really difficult time for you. But love your fighting spirit and continuing sense of humour. Looking forward to seeing your posts when you’re up to it again. Keep safe
Words loose their power under such an emotional juggernaut, raw emotion takes over. A subject not talked about, in polite society may be true. Until recently, I never knew I was named after a small soul that never made it. I brother never mentioned, until uncovered by my step daughter doggedly following a family tree.
The Professionals that view life and death everyday, shielded by the words of their profession. One thing that they have in common with Veterinary practitioners, that small screen confirming joy or sadness.
On a person level I understand the rawness, I was once called upon to print a photo of a little one that never drew breath. It hunts me now, just a engraving a Pandora Bear with tiny initials for another lost soul.
Tears, certainly. We would not human without empathy and many of us would gladly share the burden if it helps. Taking helps, not hiding the fact in the cold dark of the subconscious.
Condolences to you both and your family at such a personal time. You will overcome, both halves make a strong whole.
Dear Vic,
I am deeply touched by this. It happened to me too, a late miscarriage they call it. I kept saying, no no it’s my baby! I’m a mum of four but only three could stay.
I’m sending you all the strength in the world to get through this. Thank you for speaking, no one should ever go through this in silence!
Chrissy x
Victoria im thinking of you so so much right now your books and everything have got me through so much recently I couldn’t have done it without you…. and what a brave strong person you are to share this story your not alone ill be thinking of you xxx
Hi vic i am a screening midwife and i am often the first person after the radiographer to meet parents in your situation, i am so sorry that you were not able to have your choice of delivery for your baby, we work very closely in our area with BPAS and they always see our ladies very quickly. On the other side though many women say that they are glad to have seen and met their baby as it helps them and their partners feel a sense of closure. I always advise couples to keep a journal as you can look back in days and months to come and realise how far you have come on your journey. I hope you were offered a blessing for your rainbow baby, and be safe in the knowledge that I have looked after many ladies in your sad circumstances of loosing a much loved and wanted baby, they have moved forwards and gone on to have more beautiful babies xx
I have gone through the exact same experience. It’s horrendous. So much confusion about your body not working as it should- questioning what you could have differently and so on. As with many things you get over it … you never forget the deep emotional ripping apart feelings, but they dissipate and life continues. I could go on and on but know whilst it’s rare there are people also going through the same trauma. I didn’t talk about it at the time – I didn’t want the sympathy but actually it would have helped other people to know that they weren’t alone dealing with this silent issue. I’m happy to support / chat if it would ever help in anyway. Take care and take joy in the family you have right now x
Ive been following your blog for awhile and haven’t commented before but wanted to say I am very sorry for your loss. Really hoping for peace and comfort during this time xx
Vic,
Reading this made my heart ache for you all so badly. I am so sorry.
What an incredibly difficult time for you all.
I can’t have children, I’m sad about it but also relieved that I wouldn’t have to go through the worse pain imaginable that you have been through.
You wished for a healthy baby and you will get one I’m sure. Don’t give up hope. ??
So sorry and thinking of you all. X ?
I’m nosey so I love seeing the contents of your grooming kit! I’ve always had my eye on the haas grey brushes and often wondered if they were worth it. Will definitely give them a go after reading this. I’m the same as you, would rather spend the pennies and have things last.
Well that was an eye opener, once I put my reading specs on.
Sexy, well Facebook did not ban the bum!
Nurse, pass my blood pressure meds.
“Brave?” You are in this weather!
Let’s see if we can gradually recover all these competitions. We looked so happy.
No doubt heartbreaking, it saddens me to read how the story has ended, but you have been very brave to expose something that must be very painful for you.
A big hug from Spain!
No doubt heartbreaking, it saddens me to read how the story has ended, but you have been very brave to expose something that must be very painful for you.
Thanks for sharing your experience. It has been very moving! Send you love!
Your openness and honesty about the costs associated with horses is very valuable. Very useful words for those who just want to connect their life with a horse. This is not only about responsibility, but about constant work and perseverance.
Since discovering the Wimpy eventer my life has changed. The camp, the book but more importantly the person. Vic is honest, real, funny and inspiring. Her passion is seeing others succeed. She has heart! This is a must read for anyone who has ever doubted themselves.
I’m amazed, I must say. Seldom do I encounter a blog that’s both educative and interesting, and without a doubt, you have hit the nail on the head. The issue is an issue that not enough people are speaking intelligently about. Now i’m very happy that I came across this in my search for something regarding this.