5 Things I LOVE about YOU…

Whilst swimming in a sea of social media warriors spewing out uninvited negativity, I thought I’d take the time to tell you FIVE, bloody brilliant reasons that I LOVE being one of those ‘horse people’.  Go ahead, find your reason to be proud, to enjoy stinking of urine, eating packet noodles and never brushing your hair, for you are; THE EQUESTRIAN.

  1. First up…There is no other sport in the world that sees even the tiniest human (I mean you, Ros Canter!) masterfully control what was once a wild animal, and guide it through a dance routine, through flags and over death defying obstacles with total finesse.  Those tiny jockeys who go so fast on these cherished beasts that they have to wear goggles so that their eyeballs don’t fly out – you, my friends, are like no-one on earth, you are GOD. Number one, has to be a love for a sport like no other.
  2. It doesn’t matter whether you are 92 or 12, being ‘pony mad’ and having a phone cover with your beloved horse on it is perfectly acceptable at any age.  You can re-live your youth well into those twilight years and no-one will think you have early on set Alzheimer’s. This includes clicking your tongue to get someone to move rather than saying ‘excuse me please!’. Number two – being marginally insane but in very good company.
  3. The overall appearance.  Being on public transport, in a supermarket, at the dentist, in the office, etc. post-yard/pre-shower and mouthing to the cashier/general public; ‘Sorry, I’ve come straight from RIDING MY HORSE!’ is deemed acceptable in our circles. Wearing odd and often brightly coloured socks over too tight (sometimes stained) breeches and carrying foliage around in our un-brushed hair is certainly not a problem for us, we see it as time saving, making us PERFECT marriage material! Number three – WE ARE UNIQUE and striding to the beat of our own drum!
  4. The etiquette.  I think more people should become an equestrian before embarking on reproduction. Where else will you learn that a.) your needs/feelings will NEVER come first, stop thinking they will, your horses needs comes first! b.) that you should always pass wide and slow and drive with caution, making you the perfect road user! c.) that when pushing a supermarket trolley, regardless of cucumber location, you pass left hand to left hand. So many other things ‘non-equestrians’ are missing out on. Number 4 – you can guarantee we’ve been dragged up in terrific style.
  5. As an equestrian, you are the perfect gift receiver. You will NEVER have EVERYTHING you need for your horse and you will always be grateful of a new hoof pick, grooming brush or matching leadrope to your cross country colours. There is no end to the items of tat friends and relatives could get you as a gift. Buying for the non-equestrian results in too many scented candles and not nearly enough wine that isn’t Chardonnay!

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Essentially, being an equestrian affiliates you to a not-so-secret club, one that you will always be a part of whether you own a horse or not;  ‘For the Love of the Horse Club’.  We are all united, we all shared something in common, we all LOVE horses.  Stop tearing strips off one another, we have all smelt of p*ss, have had hay in our hair and have tasted a mouthful of soil after a fall. We all have the ability to put our beautiful horses before ourselves so there is absolutely no reason why we shouldn’t support a fellow horse lover for doing the same.

Until Next time xxxx

 

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