So here it is….
Pat, Daddy Carrot and I headed to Frickley Park today for the BE90. Yesterday’s course walk left me feeling oddly excited to get back out and doing this sport again, I felt 75% excitement and only 25% terror after walking the somewhat boggy going of the XC course.
We went to Auntie Smurph and Grain Pirates house for another #westfirsbycrew BBQ (p.s. I love where we live) and played a game of rude scrabble until much later than planned!! Although I did stumble upon the brilliant and newly created word ‘fungina’ that I now plan to include into my vocabulary. This meant that silly Vic drank half a bottle of Malbec and felt like an utter ‘un-fungina’ when the alarm went off at 4.45!!!
Carrot drove us to get my pony and we loaded up and left! I felt SICK. Not just because of the hang over but because I just wanted to turn around and go home. Crippling nerves got to me big time today. I almost cried on the drive there and again when we sat in the queue of lorries waiting to be TOWED IN!!!! Yep! I was severely close to tears now and all I could see were people skidding about in the showjumping out my window. It was awful, I couldn’t get out and run to the porta-friend quick enough!!!
We registered, got my Patsy ready and I hopped on, as close to the box as I could so I didn’t get too muddy. Walking down to the dressage warm up without my gel bum sticker-inner always makes my heart palpitations come back with a vengeance, today was no different. A lovely lady Wimpy follower stopped us for a chat but (I’m so sorry) I was a dreadful wreck.
We went in to the arena and smiled our smiles, we did everything where we were meant to and it felt bloody amazing!!! I wailed to pat what a good boy he was and gave him a big squeeze! I was so proud right there, I would have happily retired after that!!!
A short 30 minute change over and we were in the show jumping 😭😭 my worst nightmare of tonnes of spooky fillers, slippery mud and mountains of on lookers meant I rode like a total turd and thoroughly deserved 2 poles down!!!!
Another half an hour passed and there we were, deep breathing our way around the XC warm up. Now at this point, silly Carrot had said we had the best dressage in our section!!!! And with 8 to add, we were 6th place and couldn’t be pipped unless I failed him XC… 😥😥
I think after 2 stops at Tweseldown, not even making it to the XC at Rackham and the stumble at Hackthorn as my last 3 outings, it was safe to say I was rock bottom in my belief that I could still do this. I felt weak, unfit, not sure which fence I would just plop off at… but we were there doing it, bloody doing it regardless of how green I was. I won’t let my nerves get the bloody better of me!!! Get in that start box of doom you great big fanny!!!
3,2,1 came quicker than expected and we were off!!! Galloping!!! Flying the brush at one, the wall and roll top for 2 and 3, sailed over the double of bullfinches at 4 to a gappy hedge at 5, I was squealing with excitement now, it felt bloody awesome to be back there in that moment with my horse. 6, a flower dressed table caused Pat to back right off but I was there to catch him just like he does me when I’m scared, I kicked and yelled to him it was okay and he flew it and then boinged off the step down the hill!! 7 a house, 8 the trakehner and 9 a shot gun cartridge all jumped lovely! 10… the first worry for me, a skinny log into the woods and a couple of strides to a second one… I don’t know why I doubted that trusting little soldier today, he flew them both and out like I was daft to assume otherwise!!!
Another hedge and a wall led us to the water which he splashed through no bother, then onto my doom fence!! We all have one, the one you are most likely to die at… 14 was it!! A big bright CORNER!! I lined him up, slowed him down, showed him the question and he answered it perfectly… bloody boing!! Over we were… just like that!!!! Down to a flower box, wagon and the home straight of a wall and sacks to finish!!!! Aaarghhhhhh!!! We did it!!!! Bloody bloody did it!!! My horse is a stonking legend!!!!! We did it! Clear!!
The sad part is that because I was cautious and a bit steady, we did ourselves out of the frillies… but… bugger me, we bloody did it!!! We CAN do it.
Today I love my horse, I love my Daddy Carrot and my will to make this work. I won’t let fear determine who I am… not on your life!!
Thank for the endless support and encouragement, I love you all.
Love as always
Vic and Pat
My Vlog about the day is here